the gift of gratitude
a simple gift, and a loving way to keep the spirit of Christmas alive all year
by kerry lee daniel

If you knew there was something you can do that takes ten minutes, requires only a pen, a sheet of paper and a postage stamp, and that your daily performance of this action can make our world a better place, would you do it?

Several years ago a good friend in Maryland sent me a gaily wrapped package that arrived just in time for Christmas. I remember the box held a beautiful cotton polo shirt from Land’s End, the perfect complement to my tomboy wardrobe. For the life of me, though, I can’t remember what color it was. It’s not important. The most memorable part of the gift was not the shirt, but the card she tucked inside the box. It was a cat-themed holiday card—she knows I adore cats. Inside she penned a message relating the qualities she most admires and appreciates about me, as well as the reasons my friendship has been important to her through the years. Since my friend is rarely prone to bouts of sentimentality, her words truly touched my heart. I still recall the lump in my throat. Though we’d been friends for decades, I never knew until that moment how much she cared.

I carried the card with me for weeks, re-reading it whenever I needed a lift. When it became dog-eared, I put it away in a special place so I could read it again. That card deeply affected me when I received it, and it warms my heart to this day. Though my friend didn’t intend it as a “love note,” it holds the same magic.

That got me thinking: If a note like that can have such a powerful and positive effect, why do most people write them only to their lovers or significant others? What might happen if I took just a few minutes each day to write a note of tenderness, praise or gratitude to someone…anyone…who means, or has ever meant something special to me? What might happen if I also wrote notes to people I don’t know well at all? Or people I don’t like very much? Or people who are different from me, yet have recognizable talents or qualities I admire? And so I embarked on my own personal heart to heart campaign. It’s been a rich and remarkable journey that continues to this day. It deepens my relationships with friends and family members and opens the door to many new and interesting friendships as well.

Good fortune has come to many who receive my letters. One woman employee at a utility company was honored with a customer service award; another received a promotion. A corporate executive of a tea manufacturer laughed so hard at my letter extolling the virtues of his company’s delicious teas, he asked permission to read it at the opening of the company’s annual sales meeting. And while my heart fills up knowing my letters bring happiness to others, my mailbox overflows as well. Personal letters from celebrities and unsolicited free products from companies are just a few of the good things that come my way. All because I take a few minutes each day to write from my heart.

7 Steps to Great Gratituding

1 Stock up on supplies. Buy attractive stationery, pens and inks that reflect your personality. Then at the post office, choose a variety of commemorative stamps. Packaging is important.

2 Write to yourself first. Silly as it sounds, this is the key to a great beginning. How else will you know this works? Using a piece of your stationery, compose a few positive affirmations about you. That is, write a note to yourself expressing the qualities, characteristics and talents—your gifts of self—you’re grateful for and wish to share with others. Fold the note, slide it in the envelope, seal it, address it to yourself, then put a stamp on it and drop it in the nearest mail receptacle. A few days later when the envelope appears in your personal mailbox, open it and take time to read what you wrote to yourself. Enjoy the warm feelings that fill your heart as you embark on this incredible journey.

3 Make a List. Start with your immediate family—spouse/partner, children, parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. Add family friends, co-workers, cherished school friends, a favorite teacher – past or present. And don’t forget to include your family doctor, dentist, veterinarian, hairdresser, and the sweaty young kid who cuts your grass. If you’ve ever held a sales job that requires you to make such lists, you’ll be familiar with this exercise. The difference here is that the people on your list will be delighted to hear from you and will feel exquisitely cared for when they receive your message.

4 Look for Opportunities to Show Gratitude. Each day brings people into your life who are worthy of recognition: Restaurant wait staff who provide extraordinary service; a car mechanic who goes above and beyond; a health care worker who goes the extra mile for an elderly parent or loved one; a sports figure whose prowess challenges you to push yourself further and faster; entertainers who make you laugh, broaden your view of the world, deepen your experience of the human condition, or who touch your heart with their songs. A favorite artist or writer. Individuals and corporations that care for the earth and make the world a better place to live. Goddesses and heroes are everywhere. Thank one today. A great source for addresses is Michael Levine’s, “The Address Book: Direct Access to over 4,000 Celebrities, Corporate Execs, and Other VIPs.”

5 Create Time to Do the Divine. Writing a note of gratitude takes only about 10 minutes, yet it’s amazing how many will say, “I just don’t have time.” You may be one of them. Each of us has 1,440 minutes in our day. If you knew that investing just 10 minutes could make a huge difference in your life and in the lives of others, wouldn’t it be worth it to get a little creative to find a way to do it? Here’s a start: It’s been estimated that the average adult spends a total of 6-1/2 years of their life waiting in one kind of line or another. So why not carry a pen and stationery with you and write notes while you’re waiting for stuff to happen. Whether you’re standing in line at the grocery store, the bank, the fast food lane, or a traffic light, make those moments golden. Write to someone’s heart.

6 Keep a Journal. A simple, lined spiral notebook will be perfect. Create 4 columns: Date, Sent To, Received From, Comments. When you write to someone enter the date you send your note, the person’s name, and a few words about why you want to thank or recognize the person. Also in the comments column, express how you feel releasing this positive energy into the universe. Later, when you receive responses to your gratitudes, or learn of positive outcomes for your recipients, make journal entries in the same way. Keeping a journal will increase your awareness of the effects your caring messages have on others and on yourself.

7 Pass It On. Because women are natural nurturers, writing gratitudes and the process of journaling come easily to us. The idea, though, is for everyone to get involved in both the giving and receiving of these messages. So please share your journey with the men in your life – and even more important, with your children, your grandchildren, your nieces and nephews. Early on, if we help boys and girls develop the qualities of thankfulness, caring, and affirming the gifts of others, they will begin creating a kinder, gentler, more tolerant and love-filled world for future generations to enjoy.

So during this season of giving when spending budgets for many are small, why not consider the simple gift of gratitude. Imagine the miracles that will happen when you and countless others spend just 10 minutes a day writing heart-filled notes to one other person – a different person, every day for an entire year. Imagine the positive energy of hundreds of thousands of loving messages flooding mailboxes, resting beneath car windshield wipers, stuck inside doors, tucked inside lunchboxes, and passing from hand to hand, across the globe. Imagine the healing power of those 10 minutes a day literally transforming the world. And you can help make it happen. So let your gratitude show. It’s a gift of love…pass it on.

Kerry Lee Daniel is a writer, Reiki practitioner, marketing consultant and founder of Listening Hearts International™. She is currently developing a seminar and workshop program to support her soon-to-be-published book, “Heart 2 Heart.” She lives in Fairview where she shares a treehouse apartment with feline companions, Barney and Ben.
[ kerrydaniel41@aol.com; 828-628-6826 ]