a new twist for gift buying
by jan laQue

"I don’t know why I buy gifts for (you fill in the blank). He or she never seems to really like what I give."

How many times have you said that to yourself? Believe it or not, there is a rhyme and a reason for the many likes and dislikes of things that we buy for others. There are natural and inherent personality differences in everyone and those differences profoundly impact our lives.

There are basically four personality temperaments out there. If you know a person’s temperament, can that help you with your shopping list? Absolutely—and here’s the low down on what is likely to please that person.

SJ: sensing and judging

SJs are known and valued for their stability and dependability, generally have a definite sense for what they consider to be too much or extravagant, and tend to not appreciate anything that they feel is too extreme. They make up approximately 38% of the general population. They are a traditional, responsible, and practical lot. So it’s probably a good idea to avoid being too extravagant or non-practical when purchasing a gift for your SJ.

So what DO you buy? Well, when you are shopping for your SJ what DO you buy? Well, when you are shopping for your SJ, think about what kinds of "responsibilities" and "duties" they have in their lives. Then select a gift that would help them carry out those responsibilities and duties (in a timely fashion of course). Appropriate gifts might be a Day-Timer, a wall or desk calendar, practical computer software and/or supplies, or a new pen set. SJs are inclined to like things of high quality that will last (without going overboard of course). And picking out something that they would never get them for themselves would be a good idea—as long as it’s viewed by your SJ as being practical and useful. So look for something that is made very well that can be used over and over again for years.

SJs also like gifts that appeal to their senses such as various foods and perfumes. But since they are so practical, it’s important to choose the kinds of things that they wouldn’t consider too silly or wasteful. SJs also often collect "things" so they might appreciate something that they could add to their collection. Check out their collections and look for gaps that you could fill in.

SP: sensing and perceiving

SPs tend to "live in the moment", love action and variety, and the freedom to "bend the rules". They make up approximately 37% of the general population. While SJs are dutifully planning, being responsible, and following tradition, SPs are probably somewhere "playing".

Great gifts for SPs are those that they can use in their free or leisure time. These would include gifts to "play with" and those that are "fun". Gifts that would fall into that category might be stereo equipment, new computer programs, a video camera, a digital camera, new camping gear, sports equipment, etc.

Other gifts for SPs might include things that would make them look and feel physically good such as a membership to a spa or a gym, or even something that might appeal to their senses such as perfume, chocolate, a pair of roller blades, or a gift certificate for a new hair cut, manicure, or permanent. And don’t forget a gift certificate for a massage.

NT: intuition and thinking

NTs are generally tough to buy for unless you know your NT very well and what they like. As a rule, concrete things don’t necessarily make them happy. They can also be very picky. So when choosing a gift for your NT, make sure that whatever you buy fits into their particular lifestyle.

They are an inquisitive bunch with a passion for knowledge about "systems", so a book or a magazine subscription on subjects such as world events, technology, history, etc. might be appropriate (i.e. National Geographic, Newsweek, Discovery). Any book or video that focuses on some sort of global or future concept (the universe, the history of mankind, how the human body works, medical research, engineering, technological advances, etc) would probably be a hit with an NT. Another alternative is to get your NT a gift certificate so they can pick out the "right" gift for themselves. NTs are often interested in travel, especially to places they’ve never been to before. So a trip or giving money toward a trip could be appreciated.

NF: intuition and feeling

NFs are very relationship centered and connective. They are generally highly sensitive to sincerity and are often their own worst critiques. They make up approximately 12% of the overall population.

NFs are probably the most difficult of the temperaments to shop for, since they value gifts of greater intimacy, harmony, and romance. As a group, they don’t tend to find true happiness in possessions. For example, while a Day-Timer would be a much appreciated gift for an SJ, an NF would be very unhappy.

Things that would please an NF might include a romantic cruise with their partner or something that would relate to a special thing or some event that is happening in the relationship such as an anniversary. They would enjoy a night of romance with their partner, perhaps including a candlelight dinner, music and dancing. NFs tend to think of themselves and others as unique. A tangible gift might include something that is handmade that reflects the unique qualities about the NF and also demonstrates that the giver took the time to select something that was very special.

If your NF likes books, anything about inner growth or self-improvement would be valued. An NF gift doesn’t have to be expensive or showy – it just needs to reflect the special qualities of the NF who is receiving it – from their perspective. One thing that might help you is to make a list of all the qualities you admire in your NF (and they admire in themselves) before you go shopping. Then select gifts that reflect the qualities that you have on your list. Even just giving the NF your list of all the special qualities they possess would be a wonderful idea and truly appreciated. The list could be in the form of a card, or even something that you make on the computer and then have framed in a special way.

Jan LaQue has over 25 years experience in working with individuals and teams in facilitating the development and implementation of superior individual and team performance through the integration of the MBTI® (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator®) with adventure learning. Jan will give a short presentation on personality types at our February 2004 WNC-Woman Gathering.
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