building bridges:
a life-changing event awaits you
by althea gonzalez

“It’s taken me 50 years to finally find out that there are nice white people in the world.”

This startling comment by an African American woman in 1993 helped to spark a small group of people to create Building Bridges. Building Bridges is a 9-week seminar on racism that takes place in Asheville twice a year. This incredible course is a frank and open discussion about race relations in America today. Over the last 10 years, Building Bridges has changed the lives of more than 1,000 people. Through the words of a few of its creators and caretakers, you are invited to be transformed as well.

Reflect for a moment…what do you think about racism? As a woman (of any race), how do you feel when you see a black man walking down the street? How many of your close friends are of a different race? Is your life significantly different from any African American’s?

Three people who have been instrumental in Building Bridges were asked to share their experiences of racism, of the program, and to give a message to WNC Woman readers. Our wonderful contributors: Sue Walton (a loving, gutsy, white woman in her sixties), Tyrone Greenlee (a tenderhearted, African American man with a beautiful singing voice), Kathy Avery-Hoover (a vibrant, African American grandmother who works at MSJ).

On racism:

Sue: “The most difficult part of dealing with racism is the “hiddenness” of it. People have concepts about African Americans in their heads but you don’t know they’re there until something happens to uncover their bias.

“I’ve heard awful stories. One charming woman told how she and her family would visit Asheville every year. They’d have to ride in the back of the bus with the exhaust and the heat. When the bus stopped at country stores, the store owners wouldn’t let them use the bathroom or buy food. I couldn’t imagine this gracious woman having endured this. Another friend of mine was walking down the street in Asheville when someone yelled at her out of his car window, “Black Bitch!” Experiences like that happen daily. It makes it very difficult for African Americans to trust whites.”

Kathy: “How do I deal with racism? Personally I’ve always been outspoken and unaccepting of anyone treating me as less than a human being. Even if it causes me trouble. The only way is to be brave enough not to accept subhuman treatment.”
What did you gain from Building Bridges (BB)?

“Initially, the biggest impact was having somewhere to express how I felt. Now working with people who share the same goals is the best part.

“The hardest part is the slow pace of progress. There is such a lack of awareness. Some of the most powerful people are the most unaware. There are lots of people who could make a huge difference in institutional racism if they’d only go through the program.

“The goal of BB is to create understanding. To help folks become aware and then take their new knowledge back to make changes in their community. People who have gone through the program are friendlier, they’re willing to look you in the eye, smile, and speak to you. This ripples to others.

“Both of my daughters (aged 28 & 19) have participated in BB. They’re proud of the work because they know that any progress I make is for them and for my 9-year old grandson.”

Sue: “I’ve learned a lot about institutional racism. Many people don’t get that concept. They understand prejudice but they don’t see how pervasive the discrimination is. It’s in our financial institutions, our schools, our health care system. It’s everywhere. I used to think that if you were a decent person and treated people decently, then people would treat you decently. I don’t feel that way anymore. African Americans have been rebuffed in so many subtle and blatant ways that just presenting themselves decently and openly doesn’t cut it. White people need to understand this.

“I’ve made great friendships, both black and white. I didn’t realize that the African American culture and the white culture are so different. I thought we were all the same. But we aren’t. I feel really rich for learning and participating in the African American culture.”

Tyrone: “At my first session, I came to realize that I had scars from racial episodes that happened in my youth. The program opened my eyes to how deeply prejudice had affected me. It was wonderful to talk openly about these things. I’d never had the opportunity before. It was also painful to discuss this with a room of white people, even though they were friendly and supportive. It was hard to share my story with people whose skin was the same color as the perpetrators of my wounds.

“I became aware of my need to contribute, to work for change. It’s given me greater access. Now I can pick up the phone to get help because I know more people. More doors are open to me. Without BB, I wouldn’t have made so many connections with people of other races and cultures.

“Those of us who have been doing this work have a great respect for what a heavy subject this is and how deeply it affects us all. There is resistance on both sides to discuss this issue. It’s painful and very entrenched. Yet these days I see more people of different races hanging out together. We see more organizations and institutions willing to approach this issue like the United Way, MSJ and the Library. Asheville Parks & Rec. and the Asheville Police Department regularly send folks through the program.”

Message to readers:

Tyrone: “Don’t be afraid of me. If you see me on the street or in a parking lot at night, don’t be afraid. Don’t feel like you have to lock your car door when I walk past. I’m a black man but I’m not going to rob you. I’m not going to hurt you. Get to know me. Give me a chance to get to know you.”

Sue: “We need to be intentional about making friends of other races. We need to make more deliberate efforts. It is not easy. Our society is based on keeping us separate. But getting to know each other is an enriching experience.”

Kathy: “Think of a person who is part of a minority, especially African Americans. Think of waking up as that person. Every thought you have about yourself in that experience will motivate you to come to Building Bridges. There is no way to avoid the fact that we need your help so that the feelings you experience when envisioning yourself as a minority, will no longer exist for any of us. We need you!”

So are you ready to explore your feelings about racism? It’s a difficult task, but well worth it! A life-changing event awaits you. The next session of Building Bridges begins in January 2004. It is only $12 for the 9 weeks. Call 253-0749 for information and registration.

Althea Gonzalez is Goddess of her own Universe. This title currently covers her role as manager of Essential Arts, vocal-cord-carrying member of Womansong, Vice President of Blue Ridge Toastmasters, motivational speaker (for hire :-) on diversity issues, privileged mother of a wonderful son and grateful human being. Her transformative experiences at Building Bridges are chronicled in the article, A Bridge of My Own. [ altheago@att.net ]