funny, isn't it?
by jeanne charters

HOW I SPENT MY SUMMER VACATION…..
I fear you are going to hate me when I tell you about the trip to Italy that Matt and I took this past May.

Now, don’t be jealous… just put on your Sophia Loren peasant blouse, cinch in your waist, close your eyes, pour yourself a glass of red wine or a cup of cappuccino and come along with me as I reminisce, mia cara. (Oh, while I think of it, when you make your Italian trip, NEVER order cappuccino after noon. If you do you will be pegged as a tourist instantly, especially if you sip it while wearing white Reeboks.)

It all started when I got the March bulletin from my church informing me that Father Frank Cancro*, our brilliant priest, was planning to take a group to Italy just before he left us for a year’s sabbatical in Viet Nam, The Philippines and Korea. Father Frank has lived and traveled a lot in Italy in his capacity as a canon lawyer and canon judge of the Catholic Church. The man knows his way around, not just the shrines and cathedrals…but equally as important, the restaurants, guest houses and vineyards, too.

Here’s how the conversation went with my beloved.
* See our Y Chromosome Issue, August 03

“Matt, I’m going.”

“Jeanne, we can’t afford it.”

“Matt, then I’m going alone.”

Fortunately for him, he changed his mind and coughed up his half of the deposit. One week later, the trip was sold out.

We arrived in Rome on a glorious sunny day in May after a red-eye flight from Charlotte. Can you sleep on an airplane? Me neither. As I wandered around the cabin during the eight hours of the flight, I saw many of my fellow pilgrims with expressions that ranged from slack jawed to drooling. I took pictures and will resort to blackmail if any of them threaten to tell you about some of my antics in Italia.

After a quick bus ride to our hotel, we headed back to the bus for a tour of the city. There, we met our Roman guide, Ilaria, who gave a running commentary in which she wove tales of Nero and the Coliseum and Romulus and Remus. As we passed Rome’s Hall of Justice, I was surprised to learn that the Italy, as a country, was only established about 150 years ago. Before that, it was a bunch of independent fiefdoms called Rome, Florence, Venice, Naples and Sicily settled in regions called Tuscany and Umbria (and other regions I didn’t write down fast enough).

After visits to the Coliseum and Circus Maximus, we headed back to our hotel to clean up for dinner at the Papa Rex restaurant, where the pasta was divine and the wine plentiful. There was a small orchestra there and a superb tenor, soprano and baritone who serenaded us with selections from Italian operas and folk melodies.

There was a magical moment at Papa Rex when the Italians were singing Funiculi, Funicula in Italian; we were singing it in English; and a group of German women were singing it in German. It was one of those times when I felt truly cosmopolitan…and too cool for school.

Suddenly, Matt was on his feet dancing the polka with Sister Carmen Cruz, one of two Sisters of Mercy on the trip. Turns out Sister Carmen is a regular at the Friday night Ballroom dances in Asheville and she cuts a mighty mean rug when the spirit moves her.

We stayed in Rome for three days. I loved everything about it, except for standing in a downpour in St. Peter’s Square when the new Pope was 20 minutes late for our audience with him.

Being present when Father Frank said mass at the tomb of his hero, Pope John XXIII, and in the Catacombs were the spiritual highlights of my time in Rome, that city of early Christian stirrings.

We left Rome and traveled into Umbria to the beautiful mountain towns of Orvieto, Assisi, Perugia and Siena. The views of the countryside from the mountains were spectacular and the free time wandering the cobbled streets of these villages is time I’ll remember always.

On the bus to San Gimignano, someone commented that “the happiest cultures are those places where the toilet is a hole in the floor”. We all nodded sagely to the profundity of that statement. However, in using the public facility in San Gimignano and finding that it was, literally, a hole in the floor, I have to disagree. Call me shallow.

We left Umbria and headed for Tuscany and Florence. I’d been to Florence once before but was still staggered by its beauty. Surely, this is one of the prettiest cities in the world.

The remainder of our 10-day marathon trip of Italy was spent touring Venice (divine, but with the most expensive cocktails I’ve ever encountered. My vodka drink was $27.00. Matt’s beer, $17.00. Ouch!), Padua, Murano (of the glorious crystal), Barano (Italian lace) and Torcelli. I came home exhausted, exhilarated and spiritually rejuvenated. Matt felt much the same…until the Visa bill arrived.

My next summer trip was to drive back to upstate New York during a family health crisis in July. During the 28-hour drive back and forth, one thing stands out in my memory. The bigger the SUV, the more “save the troops” and “God bless America” ribbons are displayed on it. Funny, isn’t it, the disconnect that seems to be happening about our dependence on oil and what’s going on in Iraq?

I drifted back to Rome and the tiny Smart Cars everyone there seems to be driving. About the size of a golf cart and made by DaimlerChrysler, these little wonders are easy to park, operate on a capsule of energy and are the hippest things to drive in Italy.

Just makes me ponder sometimes that progress as we know it is damned ignorant of many important things. Cultures created thousands of years before our country existed are in some ways just plain smarter than we are.
Postscript…Since these trips, the horror of Hurricane Katrina has torn our country apart with images of our own citizens reeling with the failure of our government systems to bring them aid. I’ve sent a check to the Red Cross and offered housing to Gulf coast evacuees, but it all seems hollow and hopeless. I feel so sick and angry at “the system” that I fear I will become verbally violent if one more person complains to me about the price of gas! When will we ever learn?

Jeanne Charters is a former V.P. of Marketing for Viacom Television. She started her own award-winning broadcast advertising agency in 1990. Jeanne lives in Fairview with her husband, Matt Restivo. [ charmkt@juno.com; 828-628-0023 ]