a pilgrimage to sisterhood
by kate stockman

It is the Wednesday after Mother’s Day and I am making my semi-annual pilgrimage to a retreat and conference center outside of Highlands, NC, where Womenspirit is about to begin. I’m in my Element, climbing Highway 64, as memories of past events flow through my mind... visions of sisters coming together to worship and learn, to laugh and cry, to drum and dance, and—most of all—to share.

I began attending Womenspirit, a conference for like-spirited women, in 1999. After becoming disillusioned and disconnected from my Protestant roots, I (literally) wandered in the wilderness for years seeking a connectedness to Spirit. My wanderings were in the woods, at the ocean, along the rivers... surrounded by Nature, a comforting presence for me. My friend Kay, who had been attending Womenspirit, encouraged me to attend. It only took once: I knew this was what I had been searching for. That spring event’s theme was “Sisters in Divine Accordance”, and I felt like I had finally come home.

I met women from all walks of life, and all spiritual paths: earth-based, indigenous tribal, Christian, Hebrew, Wicca, Buddhist, and others. The deep connection we all have is a desire for a spiritual connection with the Divine within ourselves. We may climb the mountain on different paths, but the zenith is the same: connection with Spirit, Goddess, God, Source, All That Is... we may call it different names, but it is the same peak that we all reach for. We are like-spirited.

Six years later, I look forward not only to the spiritual work that I will dive into for five days in a beautiful, rustic setting surrounded by ancient dwarf oaks and panoramic views, but also to sharing time with beloved sisters that I have met. I rarely get to see many of these sisters more than twice a year at the spring and fall events, so in addition to sharing sacred space with them, I will also have the cherished chance to share our stories while sitting in rocking chairs on our cabin porch watching the sun set or the moon rise—which is, to me, also sacred space. It is symbolic to turn onto the conference center’s single-lane drive and begin the curving climb up to the top. Here, I am able to leave all the worries and distractions of the everyday world behind, like the dotted lines on the highway. Although Womenspirit is full of activities, this is also a place between the worlds, where there is a timelessness that transcends all the time-clock mentality that we are driven by in our daily lives. Now I am truly in my element, as my car follows the curves to the top of the mountain, a now-familiar home away from home.

As I enter the hall to register, I hear calls of welcome that women are joyfully shouting to each other. These are the most familiar sounds of Womenspirit: joy and laughter in greeting a much-missed sister. During registration, we add cookies we've brought to the Bottomless Cookie Jar. It's a sweet reminder to take care of
years, and not others. But even when we don’t come together, I still strongly associate Womenspirit events with my mom, look for her, expect her to be there, remember conversations we’ve had there that we wouldn’t have anywhere else." Kati giggles and adds, "I’m thinking specifically of the coming together part: of how she always wants to hug the stuffing out of me when I get there and I act aloof, like a cat, but follow her around most of the time." Kati grins, her eyes sparkling.

Sisters share special time together at Womenspirit also. Krista and Reid, birth sisters, share their Womenspirit experience with their sisters of choice. Krista says, "Over the years, WS has been a constant in a life of ebb and flow, change and flux. In the good and the bad, this group has been there for me and has nurtured me when I needed it and allowed me to nurture others when they needed it." She continues, "I think my growth as a woman, a feminist, a person, had been tightly interwoven with my involvement with Womenspirit. I remember nights of laughter and tears and rowdy interactions. And I have also felt more spiritual at Womenspirit than at any other place in my life. I have felt the power of the Goddess in my hands and heart, surging through me, wanting me to find a way to actualize all that I am. I have shared that with other women and with my daughters and sister." Krista has also brought her two daughters with her to events.

These relationships are so special that time is taken during the first worship circles to recognize, honor, and celebrate these relationships in our midst. Also, at the beginning of each worship circle, we are asked to call in any women who are not able to be there in person. I always call in my own mother, who is deceased, and who I know is celebrating there with me. This is my favorite sound of Womenspirit: women whispering and calling the names of those not physically with us.

During the course of the five-day event, more women join us. Our numbers and energy swell. There are tracks and workshops for learning and sharing. There are activities—quiet as well as bodacious—where each woman can find comfort in self-expression. From tea and talk to drumming and dancing to Big Girl stories by the fire to porch sitting with sisters and just catching up... these are all ways we cherish and celebrate each other and ourselves.

Finding Womenspirit has brought a renewal and clarity to my life I I have long known was missing," states Meg. "It is like taking a swim in a cool mountain pool of wisdom, continually being refreshed by the waterfall of new and longtime members coming together to create a refreshing respite from our hectic world. Womenspirit has helped me become the woman I have always longed to be; as I continue on that journey, I hope to give back as much as I have received, and I have received much."
Over these five days, I have sat with sisters and with Nature and with myself. I have experienced the gamut of emotions and feel full.

My most cherished memory of Womenspirit was in late September 2001. On Saturday nights, we have a Cabaret, where sisters can sign up to offer a performance or any kind—from the sublime to the absurd—and the women that we all are can handle the stretch. This particular Cabaret, I wanted to invite my sisters on September 11, and I knew this song brought me peace and hoped it would bring my sisters the same. Several women stood with me as we lead the song, and as one sister played the violin in accompaniment, 100 or so women joined in. The beautiful, heartfelt singing that rose to the ceiling filled us all with hope and energy to work towards a peaceful world. I thought we were going to raise the roof, it was so powerful! The memory still brings tears to me. It was a dream come true that my Womenspirit sisters made happen. That’s what coming together in a community of women means to me. And that’s why I’m in my element when I start that semi-annual pilgrimage to Womanspirit each spring and each fall.

 

Kate Stockman and her family live in Hendersonville, NC. She feels as though she has “come home” by moving to the Appalachian mountains 14 years ago. Kate connects with Spirit through her artwork, which focuses on writing, bookbinding, and fiber work, all of which are inspired by Nature.

The Fall Womenspirit event, “Return to the Well”, runs from September 21 - 25 at The Mountain, a Unitarian Universalist Conference Center outside of Highlands, NC. Check out the website at uuwomenspirit.org for information about this event.