lady in waiting
photos & story by emily perry

We’ve all seen this before—the influx of backpacks and pens at local stores, the sales in the junior section for 'back to school season', and the relieved sigh of parents happy to have a quiet house—in exchange for another year of heartache, PTA meetings, and report cards. For college students, the end of summer means student loans, job hunting, packing everything you own into the car, farewell to families, and $400 in books for the semester.

While most kids age 17 and below hate the thought of returning to school, many college students relish the ability to free themselves from their parents and spend their next year however they choose. However, it is, for those twenty-somethings who marched across a stage in May donning their school colors, (present company included) a frightening time of year.

Because I took a year off after high school, I am a semester behind and will be returning to school this term. However, as someone staring down the barrel of being out in the ‘real world’ on her own, it scares the hell out of me. Society has ingrained it into my generation that students go to college, graduate in 4 years, get a job using their degree, and there you go. Well, I am already on the five year college plan, and, as I’m an English major, I probably won’t have a job after college! (Note the sarcasm.) Damn the man!

For most students facing the nine-to-five abyss of the unknown, their largest concern is not using the degree that parents pay and students work so hard for. It is a common misconception that students have job offers in their field before they graduate. Quite the opposite, many people live at home for a while (at least for the summer) working a ‘crappy’ job to save money for an apartment and student loan expenses, if they even work in their field at all. It is hard to believe that many students also go to college to get a degree, and don’t have any intention of using it. Money is the prime motivator for most recent graduates, and happiness is always playing caboose to what students actually want—whatever that may be.

For me, I am afraid of living with people I don’t know, moving away from home, not using my degree, and not being happy. Like most people, I am not sure what I want to do yet. I acquired an internship to help me along my way, as society says I should, and I hope to someday be the Editor of some publication somewhere…does that narrow it down?

Regarding life, there is one person that inspires me more than any other—and I met her while she was serving me Sweet Potato Fries. Sara Nichols graduated from Mars Hill College with a degree in Biology and has been making ends meet by managing and waitressing at Areopagus restaurant in Mars Hill, NC. When I asked Sara what her plans were for the fall, I was wholeheartedly surprised at her response: "Working here". I am not sure why I was surprised—as I said, plenty of people live at home and work before they go out in search of a ‘real job’. What further shocked me was Sara’s desire to continue waitressing and not pursue a job in biology. At Julie Parker’s request (by request, I mean incessant prodding with a fork), I interviewed Sara about her decision to waitress as a career. I went to Sara’s house to enlighten myself on what is so great about waitressing. And, I admit, I was very excited to be hanging out with a girl my own age!

I was met at the door by Sara’s dog Guinness, with her big eyes and much larger ears. Guinness hopped back and forth from Sara to my lap, stealing my attention away for most of the interview. Sara’s apartment looked similar to mine in that messy, ‘a boy lives here’ kind of way. Sara has two roommates—both men, and we shared stories of what it’s like to be the sole female in the house. Sara is very happy with her life situation, and has no intention of changing it anytime soon. “I am living with my two best friends, I have money for bills, and money to save…it’s like I’m living on vacation,” she said with a grin.

Sara loves living on her own. She began her college career with a major in Zoology, and came to Mars Hill because it houses one of the few small Zoology programs within driving distance of her hometown of Bradenton, Fla. “I didn’t like the city. I wanted a place that was close to home, but not close enough for mom to visit every time I’m sick. There is a lot more opportunity at a small school—one on one study time with professors, and the chance for hands on field work,” says Sara.

While Zoology didn’t really work out, Sara switched to Biology to concentrate more on avenues of wildlife rescue, and national park services. In January 2005, Sara began to job hunt in her field, with the hopes to share her love of nature with others. After her search turned up empty, she had to consider the possibility that she wouldn’t acquire a job right away. She was fresh out of college with no experience. “Eventually I came to terms with not getting a job in my field. People say that once you have a college education you can do anything. It took a while to realize that’s not necessarily true.” It is every student’s nightmare to finally hold that diploma in your hand, and never use it. After months of searching, Sara found a job at an environmental consulting company in Bradenton, Fla. After considering her options Sara decided: “I’m not ready to move. I have a job I love in an area I love. Yes, it’s a job in my field, but why would I move to a city I don’t like and a job I may not like when I’m happy?” That’s a good question.

Sara’s job hunt surfaced a feeling of happiness for where she is in her life right now, which is something many adults have not yet achieved. She loves waitressing and the ability to make people happy. After a long conversation about men and their need/ability to make a waitress feel like she is the best thing in his life at the moment, she says she likes the instant gratification it gives her. “If I provide good service, they’re happy. People come in for a good experience, and when they get one they keep coming back. It’s a great feeling to do a good job, then be paid instantly for it,” she laughed. I also asked Sara what she thinks about other people’s views on waitressing.

Stereotypically, waitressing is a job that people do while they are pursuing their ‘real’ career. It’s the classic joke among starving actors and artists to be a server while going to auditions. Here, Sara is making waitressing her career. Sara just laughed at me as I rambled on about my actress friend who is waitressing at a swanky dive in New York. When I shut up long enough for her to talk, she told me “I’m tired of people trying to 'save me' from having to waitress. My mom told me to get a degree so I don’t have to wait tables, and now I’m choosing to do just that. It took some time for her to come to terms with that.”

Although her mom wishes for ‘something better’ for her daughter —and Sara would indeed one day enjoy something in the area of biology/the environment—her family is very supportive. Her dad is a firm believer in ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff’ (funny, my mom says the same thing) and says to enjoy life while she can. Sara sees the life of most adults as sad because people always change jobs. “I hope I never have to take a job I hate simply because of money,” she said while switching her focus to Guinness who was walking on her bass that was lying on the floor.

Sara’s other ambition is music. While she is an accomplished bassist and just signed a year contract for the Asheville Symphony, Sara is hesitant to make music a career. Being a musician myself, we launched into a conversation about the importance of what you love becoming ‘work’. Even though every musician strives to be paid for playing music, for some the act of making your passion a job is less than appealing. Sara explained how the Asheville Symphony is just right for her. She can go to rehearsals, play, and have fun, but yet she isn’t plagued with having to make it her entire life.

Sara isn’t concerned with making anything her entire life right now, and that is why I admire her. I, as an upcoming graduate, am doing my best to gain experience in my field to hopefully have a job after college. But is that job necessarily going to be what I love to do? Probably not. It is hard to accept life the way it is, and even harder to understand the concept of happiness at twenty-two, when so much of your life is manipulated by society. It is obvious to me that Sara has it right, and although society and her some of her restaurant patrons think otherwise, she isn’t the one who needs saving.

 

Emily Perry is often found putting up with other people's crap. She will desperately need a job in her field come May 2006, or else will use her degree in English to further her career as a bagger at the local Piggly Wiggly. Her mom is her greatest inspiration.
[ e_perry@mail.plymouth.edu ]