"do you hear my heart?"
by julie parker

Her monthly dry cleaning bill used to be in the three digits...and she was happy to pay it.

She was a prostitute, she said, for corporate America, and she had to keep up appearances.

Donna Williams once 'lived the good life'. She 'had it all'— the meticulously remodeled and decorated home, the wardrobe, the jewelry...she even had horses. She had a position of responsibility in the corporate world, the cherrywood office, and all the perks. Donna Williams was a 'success'. Then, at the peak of her career, she walked away from it all and found her soul in the mountains of Western North Carolina.

"As a young woman, I was determined to rise above my parents' blue collar lives—the stigma of being on the wrong side of the tracks, if you will. Without a degree, I took class after class to stay on top of my profession and hold my own in the boardroom. (I have no idea what kind of degree I could get with the diversity of the classes—but there has to be something!) In this period, women were contending with the "good ole boy" network: we were tolerated rather than respected, and overlooked for promotion regardless of degree."
Donna Williams is a woman of sturdy stock. With a Swedishgrandmother & a Czechoslovakian grandfather, she wears her heritage in her bones.

Like her mother, she is a strong woman, an athlete. In fact, Donna, her mother and sister played on the same softball team...when her mother was diagnosed with Parkinson's. What followed was a long, slow, agonizing loss of her mother's independence and her strength until her death 9 years later.
"There are many things that led up to my decision to alter my life: My husband's tour of duty in Viet Nam for one (he was drafted and neither one of us believed in that war.) Complications during pregnancy (and I really wanted to be a mom). I have two beautiful sons, and it was my belief at the time that they should be raised with both parents.

My mother's premature death. My own stroke at the age of 34. Both of my sons, following in their father's footsteps (he was a marine), went into military service. Stede, my oldest, served in the Army and fought in Operation Desert Storm and in Somalia. He also did a stint with the Navy. My youngest son Gabe joined the Air Force. He went to Bosnia and was the first in when the US Embassy in Nairobi was bombed. The realities from each of these made me re-examine my life. After a 27-year eye-opening marriage and the slow realization that one partner was playing checkers and another, Parcheesi, I walked away one morning at 3 a.m. from a life of dis-ease—and from a life that included my white-collar dream of early retirement."
Regarding DivorceDonna took steps to legally forfeit interest in the house and property, nor did she go after her husband's pension. "I gave my corporate wardrobe way to Goodwill and Salvation Army. I pawned my jewelry. The man at the pawn shop said 'Lady, you know this is a pawn shop...you're not gonna get much for this.' But the jewelry that had been a superficial badge of acceptance for myself had become a spear of torment and I left with a tiny fraction of what my jewelry was worth...and a smile on my face."
I moved in with a friend for 6 months until I found an apartment in this historic district of Concord, NC, where my office was located. Beneath my office on the first floor was a wonderful gourmet cofee shop called On Common Grounds. It was at a book club meeting being held there that I met David—the most intelligent, sensitive and sensual man I have even known. We went to the same places, enjoyed the same things. We became an item without really being an item. I don't know if we ever had a 'date'. We both were examining ways to get out of the fast lane, to make radical changes in our lives, and we found putting both our heads together we had some great ideas.

The first time he proposed, I laughed. I wasn't looking for something outside of myself for my happiness. But when he proposed again months later I said "Yes!" He pulled the truck over and jumped out with a WHOOP!!

We were married under a waterfall. There were 14 people there, total. We wore blue jeans, white oxford shirts and snoods. My sister, who is a minister, officiated: she witnessed our vows through a veil of water. David and I stood—just the two of us—under Dry falls. Our oath was intimate...for our ears and the ears of God.

Drawn by the authenticity of the people of these mountains, their genuineness, remarkable talent and stamina, and by the sheer beauty of these mountains, we moved to Madison County. I arrived in Asheville with an excellent letter of recommendation from the firm I left, and was interviewed and offered a job with an international firm in Asheville. It was then that I realized taking that job would defeat the purpose of all the changes I had already made in my life and wanted to continue to make. I declined. I examined options that were closer to where I wanted to go with the perks that life offers.

We rent now. We steward 22 acres on Big Laurel, surrounded by the Pisgah National Forest. In the house my first husband and I spent so many years carefully restoring, I'd labor to get just the right shade of peach in the living room. David and I are now busy living and loving. Our plates are not matched..they harmonize, but they don't match.

We live paycheck to paycheck. We do not have a nest egg, no 401K and no health insurance. Enron and WorldCom reaffirmed our carefully thought-out decision not to participate in what we decided, for us, were scams. Yes, it's risky. But we are more comforable on this side of risk.

After all this time I realized I am just a different version of my mom. I am the blue collar woman I tried so long to run from. And I love it! As a matter of fact, blue is definitely the color to hide the Big Laurel dirt I love to dig in.
I am happier now than I have ever been...and I have less materially than I have ever had.

How do you want your eggs?
Now Donna is happily working as a waitress at the Wagon Wheel in Mars Hill. "It's hard work waiting tables...it's hard on your legs...and it's the most gratifying thing I have ever done (outside of motherhood and grandmotherhood!) Working here on a daily basis I see people I have come to love. I know their spouses, their children, and their grandchildren, and I have watched them grow. I suffer with them when they hurt and I share their joys. And there isn't any desk between us...just a coffee pot!

I salute the women who are continuing to change the face of corporate America. I salute women making a living, bearing children, raising families, or remaining solo. I also salute all those of the male gender who helped me come
home to my Self."