sex and spirit: finding god in the bedroom
by kate reynolds

Sex. The blessing and the bane of humankind since we first stood upright and became aware.

An act that can spark life, bond lives, ruin lives. This is big magic. Major mojo. The place where the carnal and the mystical meet.

A doorway to a higher plane. Or a sweaty, animal frolic. Either. Both.

With all apologies to St. Thomas Aquinas, the power of sex does not begin and end with procreation. Not to diminish the profundity of the concept—the almighty hand is pretty obvious in the act of reproduction—but to imply that our exquisite sexuality is designed as nothing more than a people machine is to put limits on the infinite. We are so much more than that.

To fully explore our sexuality, or our relationship with the divine, for that matter, it’s often necessary to step beyond the boundaries of conventional religious wisdom. It’s not surprising that the same folks who seek to define how we should relate to God are those who prescribe whom, and how, we should love. Outside that box lies a more intimate relationship with Spirit, with ourselves and with others.

Start with this basic premise—You, yes You, are a manifestation of the divine. I’m not talking about megalomania here. It’s more the recognition that the same energy that produced the Big Bang, and all the astounding intricacies of our universe, resides in you. And in everyone else.

When that realization hits, the lights go on, the windows fly open and Spirit rushes in like a cool breeze in summer. With this new awareness the most mundane acts, when practiced with focus and proper intent, have the potential to become sacred. Mowing the lawn can be a meditation and sharing a meal, a sacrament.
And sex can be transcendent.

We are given some brilliant clues to this opportunity. Simply put, sex feels good. We’re drawn to it by a fierce, natural yearning. It’s hard to imagine that Infinite Wisdom has nothing better to do than set mean traps for foolish mortals, so we’ve got to assume that pleasure is designed to get our attention. But orgasm—that moment of feeling completely alive and yet almost vaporous—is really a bonus gift. There’s more…

In the closeness of another body, there is the simple comfort of not being
alone—of being within, or accepting another within. There is an invitation and a trust that we will be appreciated for what we are: naked, totally human and completely vulnerable. And this is where the miracle occurs.

If you can look into your partner’s eyes and see your Self reflected back, you’ve touched another. If you see God there, you’ve hit the jackpot. This is what involved and mindful sex can help illuminate—a communion in the truest sense of the word. While life provides us many situations where we can experience this grace, few allow us to so totally blur the line between the physical and metaphysical aspects of our being.

Spiritual traditions throughout the ages have recognized the power of this experience and sought to either nurture or suppress its potential. Hindu Tantric disciplines are devoted to funneling the immense energy of sexuality into the quest for spiritual liberation, while most Judeo-Christian doctrines tolerate its use only within the sacrament of marriage, and then only within strict guidelines.

It’s understandable. One of the functions of organized religion is to attempt to explain and codify the great mysteries, and allowing individuals to take responsibility for their own spirituality and sexuality might be considered as wise as letting children play with matches. But how else can we learn to harness fire?

So, does this mean that every naughty romp should be transformed into a high holy rite? Of course not. Respectful, consensual sex can be just that, and nothing more. We choose our own path to enlightenment, or choose not to walk that road at all. But, as Jung liked to point out, “Vocatus atque non vocatus, deus aderit.” Bidden or unbidden, God is present.

If you’re looking, you can find the divine at the altar, or in the bedroom.

Hallelujah and Amen.

Reprinted from Celebrate!, August, 2002.

Kate Reynolds is an informal student of world religions. Born and raised Roman Catholic, she is now a devout Pantheist. A graphic designer, writer and bon vivant, Kate is recently transplanted from Key West, Florida. She is eagerly exploring these magic mountains and celebrating her new life as a Western North Carolina Woman. [ nakedeyewnc@bellsouth.net ]