eye of the
daughter has become a young woman overnight, and I am at a loss.
the other day, one-year old Eden indulged in her new habit of throwing
food on the ground. This is a habit much encouraged by our dog, Achaiah,
but not appropriate for Grandmas house. Pick that up and
give it to me, I said to Eden.
looked up into my eyes and said, No.
blinked and stared at her in slack-jawed wonder. Moments passed. I was
rendered quite speechless. I remember vaguely wondering why my own short
life was flashing before my eyes. Eden watched intently. I cleared my
throat and struggled with my suddenly clumsy tongue. Im
sorry, what did you say? I was completely unprepared. Shes
just a baby.
giggled nervously and slowly slunk her hand downwards. She held the
offending bread crust triumphantly over her head. Here-go.
I thanked her, then resumed some deep breathing. Something within me
shouted It Has Begun!
next day, as if imbued with power and invincibility, Eden suddenly began
walking. Oh, shed taken plenty of halting steps already. Now she
was practically running the length of the house, giggling madly and
reaching everything we had thought was out of reach. As I grabbed a
pile of CDsjust in timeI couldnt help but notice how
exceedingly tall Eden had suddenly become. Our Safe-Shelves
had to be moved even higher. I had just saved my glass candleholders
when I heard a gleeful squeal from the kitchen. How had she gotten in
there so fast? I turned to see Eden chasing Achaiah with a wooden spoon.
an act of complete surrender, I crumpled to the floor and just watched
my daughter. My mind had achieved a stillness that could never be reached
through all of my attempts at meditation. As I sat amongst the rubble
of teddy bears, Dr. Seuss, Pooh, and Nemo, I became completely centeredtime
stilled and felt as if I sat in the eye of a great storm. How
has this become my life? I contemplated with an easy detachment.
Somehow the year had passed without my knowledge (or consent!) Now my
sweet baby is half as tall as me and has a boyfriend. Yes, a boyfriend,
she notice the dumbfounded look on my face? Did she feel the aching
of my heart? I dont know. Eden dropped her spoon and hurried over
for a kiss. The illusion passed and time resumed its hurried pace.
We had a tickle-fest, and I swear she grew another two inches. I threw
her over my head, my melancholy lost in Edens giggles of delight.
I noticed a slight shift in my perception; when I looked at her now,
I wondered excitedly, What is my life becoming?
a feeling of perfect peace, I threw my arms around my daughter. I
laid back and gazed up at me. She carefully worked her tongue around
the L sound wed been practicing. Love mama!
Suddenly my heart stopped, and time stood still...
L. Trancoso lives in Leicester with her heart-mate Josh, their
1-year old daughter Eden, and dog Achaiah. She works for two different
companies, providing supportive services to adults with developmental
disabilities. An aspiring Wordsmith, she happily welcomes any comments