a mother is a mother
by asa huggett

Mother, Mom, Mère, Madre, Mum. Mothers all. No matter what language, nationality, culture, color, ethnic group or even species you belong to, we all understand the attributes we ascribe to being a Mother.

This is what is meant by the term archetype (ark-a-type), a common understanding of a pattern of characteristics that crosses all borders and cultural boundaries. A mother is a mother in any culture. While archetypes themselves are neutral, they may be perceived as functional or as dysfunctional, which is commonly called the shadow side. The functional side of the archetype is the part that is empowering to the self, while the shadow side disempowers the individual and frequently those around her as well. The challenge is to be able to see beyond the illusions of power to its essence and how it is being acted out through the choices we make.The universal image of Mother has many faces, such as the “Good Mother” who is the female as the life giver—the birther who nurtures, protects and will sacrifice herself for the good of her young. She is also the source of unconditional love, patience, forgiveness and the keeper of the home, a place of eternal safety and comfort. Whew, not too many expectations to live up to there! What a job description.And yet, many of the women in our culture who grew up during the 40’s and 50’s were given this “Perfect Mother” archetype as the model to follow. Donna Reed and June Cleaver were the mothers on the new media model maker, television. They were stay at home Moms who were always fresh and pleasant and wore dresses while they prepared dinner.Unfortunately that image didn’t work for many of the girls who became mothers themselves in the 60s and 70s. Even though energetically the archetype remains neutral, the cultural expectations shift and evolve. These women were part of the Feminist years when women began to work for more options than the traditional life paths of mother, teacher, secretary or nurse. Women, mothers included, began to look for other ways to explore the world, express their gifts, and find their own personal identity.

More women emerged as artists,writers, small business owners, lawyers, doctors, ministers and eventually as opportunities opened up we saw them becoming CEOs, judges, inventors, astronauts, entrepreneurs, politicians and professors.And what happened to the “Good Mother” archetype? Has she been left behind? No, of course not. There will always be women whose hearts and lives are dedicated to the birthing and raising children, but we have created an archetypal crisis for women who want to be devoted mothers and pursue a career or need to work out of necessity. Seems our society, where the power has traditionally been in the hands of men, who generally don’t have the mother archetype (no offense Mrs.Doubtfire) still doesn’t support women in the fulfillment of dual roles.

Fortunately as more women access positions of power, we will make thekinds of changes necessary to support both the mother and the father archetypes, which will benefit and empower not only the parents, but the children as well.As we continue to evolve, we will better address the issues of the“Shadow Mother,” the mother who goes against natural law by harming her children. She may diminish her children by devouring them through verbal, physical and emotional abuse, or simply by manipulating them with guilt, maintaining control in their lives when they should have grown up and moved on. She may show up as an annoying Roseanne or the “Mommy Dearest” extreme, but she is theproduct of her own low self esteem, limiting beliefs, fears and the wounds she herself experienced as a girl. Regardless, it’s time werecognized that children need to be supported and protected in their growth years by the entire community.No matter how our own mothers treated us we need to step back frombiology and the story of who we are and recognize that our mothers gave us life. They are the vehicles through which we were born into the world. Try to see not just your mother, but the energetic pattern of mothering, those people who nurture, support, persist, love and create, be it child, book, project, invention or company, let us honor the energy of creation, including our Mother Earth, who provides us with all that we are and all that we have, our First Mother, Always Mother. And let us give thanks for the gift of life.

Asa Huggett studied Andean shamanism with Alberto Villoldo (Shaman, Healer, Sage) and is currently studying Archetypes and Sacred Contracts with Caroline Myss. She combines the ancient teachings with contemporary healing in her healing/teaching practice Ancient Pathways. She lives in Swannanoa and can be reached at 828-686-1415 or at asa@ancientpathwaysguide.com.