being peace
by marina raye

My two weeks alone had been a time of deep introspection and renewal. It was blissful to awaken each morning to no obligations, no schedule, nothing but peace in each moment. I could meditate any time, for as long as I wanted. I could control my energy and my space to be filled with peace. My husband, Charlie, was visiting family in Europe for the Christmas holidays. Our e-mails reminded me how much we missed each other. I was aware of how unconditionally loving and accepting we could be of each other when we were 3500 miles apart. Then he returned and our normal dance of relationship resumed. Our marriage is good, blessed with common passions and dreams. And like most marriages, it is spiced with differences.

I set my intention for the new year to practice being peace in each moment. In examining the times that I don’t feel at peace, I notice that the energy of my heart feels blocked, like a door has slammed shut. Simple example: we have adopted a puppy, a very stubborn hound dog. We are trying to train Arjuna, and don’t always agree on the best technique. When she snapped at our neighbor, Charlie said she was just trying to play. I argued that snapping is never appropriate behavior. I could feel the conflict in my body as the energy in my heart constricted. My breathing felt shallow. We cut short our time with Arjuna and each other, and Charlie went to the movies. I wanted to cry because my peace had flown away. Or had it?

Focusing on my breath, I remembered the profound practice of Tonglen, as taught by Buddhist teacher, Pema Chodron (shambhala.org/teachers/pema/tonglen1.php).

I took a moment to feel my vulnerability and the tenderness of my heart. I breathed in the feeling of conflict and breathed out compassion for myself and for Charlie. Then I continued to breathe into the blocked feeling. I breathed in the pain and confusion of our puppy who was resisting being formed into an acceptable, polite member of our family. I breathed out compassion for her, a warm hug and acceptance of her puppyness. The practice of Tonglen then recommends working with the larger picture. I breathed in the suffering of the four legged ones who were abused, homeless, hungry. I breathed out comfort to them. After a few moments of this practice, my heart no longer felt blocked, and I could again be peace.

The world seems saturated with violence. How can I possibly change the world to be a place of peace? All I can do is change myself. We are not here to create peace. Peace has always been here although it is sleeping in some of our brothers and sisters. We are here to awaken peace. Spiritual teacher Eckart Tolle (eckharttolle.com) has said, “It is inner stillness that will save and transform the world.” My intention is to cultivate this inner stillness by being peace. I make choices that deliver a life of holistic balance: eating organic foods, walking gently on the Earth, doing my bliss as my life work, and daily meditation and spiritual practices.

My friend Kaye walks a deeply spiritual path and is the most present person I know. She recently told me that she finds her peace disturbed when she is surrounded by negative conversation, particularly about politics. She feels her energy constricting and wants to change the conversation or walk away. I shared with her the practice of Tonglen which can shift our response to any situation. It is particularly helpful in dealing with areas of resistance, as in my friend’s reaction to what she perceives as negative conversation. The world of politics is both fascinating and maddening. It is a challenge to read the Internet news sources without getting pulled into a polarized position. Awareness of the games of polarity and of the enormous suffering in the world offers many opportunities for the practice of Tonglen.

Family conflicts provide ample opportunities for spiritual practice. Charlie’s daughter is going through some tough times right now. Her life has been a challenge, both for her and for those who love her. She raises her children on junk food and television, and wonders why they are often sick and have disruptive behavior. In the past, I have had some strong opinions about how to fix the situation. My judgmental attitude did not bring me peace. Besides practicing Tonglen, I am working on surrendering my strong opinions; “I don’t know” is a good place for me to be concerning our adult children. Focusing on being peace, I accept that it is not my role to give unsolicited advice.

Being peace requires being present. Anything that brings us to the present moment is our teacher: a bird singing, a beautiful sunset, a dog barking, a siren screaming. Buddhist Zen Master, Thich Nhat Hanh, (plumvillage.org) teaches a simple mindfulness exercise. “Breathing in I calm my body.

Breathing out I smile.” This practice can be used as a sitting or walking meditation. I also like to use it throughout the day and while going to sleep.
A vital part of being peace is doing what we love. Playing my flutes is what I took birth for. It is my deepest bliss. Charlie and I support ourselves with our art forms. For me, that is music, and for him, it is hand crafting native flutes. We believe that we are here to serve and that we are giving a living rather than just making a living. It took many years to discover our gifts. We were both involved in offering leadership training programs before we left the corporate world. It took courage to let go of the steady pay check, but the predictable life had little to offer other than security. Through our life work we are being peace. That feels blissful!

Gratitude is vital to the process of being peace. A beautiful practice is to start and end each day giving thanks. Then take moments throughout the day to express gratitude. My friend’s son recently began a two-year Peace Corps adventure in Ghana. His comments have centered on the joy and gratitude he notices from the native people who have few possessions. He contrasted their attitude to that of many Westerners who have so much and are so dissatisfied. In addition to giving thanks for abundant blessings in my life, I am expanding my practice of gratitude by giving thanks for peace. It is important to be grateful in advance, believing before we see the evidence of peace. Sometimes the world seems too dark for peace to survive. Then I breathe in the darkness and breathe out lightness and peace. We must keep peace alive in our hearts by being peace.

 

Marina Raye is internationally known as the “Feminine Voice of the Native Flute.” Her music is used by many to invoke inner peace and a sense of closeness to nature. Marina and her husband Charlie Oakwind live in Black Mountain where they are building a solar powered home.
[ marinaraye.com ]