the gender of money
by reeta bochner wolfsohn, cmsw

Once upon a time, little girls grew up believing that if they had long beautiful hair, could spin gold, tend the right beast or kiss the right frog, they would live happily ever after. Unfortunately, too many women discovered that the road from once upon a time to happily ever after can be long, winding and somewhat treacherous.
While not every marriage ends in divorce, not every woman is abused and not all woman end up poor in old age—too many do. It happens to women you know and to women you don’t know—to older women and to younger women. What would you do if it happened to you, or to someone you care about?

Have you ever wondered how women find themselves in those predicaments, or why they stay in them? There are no easy answers. Neither are there simple solutions for ending poverty, divorce and abuse or helping women to extricate themselves from the unhealthy and dangerous relationships and circumstances that create them.

There are, however, many ways women can reduce the potential for becoming victims. One important way is to understand what it means to be a woman. Knowing what it means to you to be a woman is important because it is as a woman that you view yourself, the world and your ability to function in that world. Knowing what it means to you to be a woman is critical to your ability to function as a woman in society.

Knowing what it means to you to be a woman is the first step in achieving a core understanding of how gender drives your life. It includes knowing all of the things that you do, the choices you must make and the roles you play because you are a woman. The more connected you are to what it means to you to be a woman, the stronger your sense of self, of self-esteem and of self-confidence will be.

Gender provides the underpinning of every woman’s life and plays a powerful role in the way women manage money. The “Gender of Money” means that women earn less money for doing the same work as men do and pay more money for many products and services. Women earn on average $.74 for every dollar a man earns – which costs them between $250,000 and $500,000 over the course of a lifetime. Women experience the “Gender of Money” in their paychecks and in their Social Security. They experience it when they pay more for haircuts, dry cleaning, car maintenance, clothing and other products and services. They experience it in their inability to do things for and with their children. The “Gender of Money” drives the cycle of poverty and the cycle of abuse.

The “Gender of Money” exists because all women are discriminated against and are socialized to be dependent. Dependency and discrimination support financial passivity and contribute to divorce, poverty, abuse, homelessness, depression, addiction and many other physical and mental illnesses. The “Gender of Money” places every woman at risk for poverty and affects all women regardless of race, culture, age or economic situation.

The “Gender of Money” includes lower average earnings, child custody and support, elder care and longer life expectancies than men. It thrives because women have “herstorically” given away their skills and time without placing a value on them. Although women do the majority of the world’s work, they earn the minority of the world’s income.

Over the course of their lifetimes women are out of the work force longer than men and save less money than men save. Women tend to view money as security, so are more risk averse and fearful of making investment mistakes. The top financial goal of women is paying off debt.

The “Gender of Money” sets women up for financial failure. It creates the inequity that nurtures dependency and keeps women financially stuck rather than moving in the direction of financial security. This simply is not acceptable. It is time for women to become more proactive with their money by understanding and overcoming the economic bias (the “Gender of Money”) in their lives.

This column will explain how being a woman impacts every woman’s life, including yours, so that you will be clearer about why you are where you are and what you can do to be somewhere else. It will provide insight into how to make the shift from poverty or debt driven thinking to prosperity and asset driven living. The ideas, materials, exercises and information in “the more money-wise woman” will always focus on increasing reader’s self-awareness, as well as their financial awareness.

Reeta Bochner Wolfsohn, CMSW is the founder and president of the Femonomics Institute (femonomics.com). She is a therapist, author, and consultant who has appeared on the “TODAY” Show and been written about in numerous national publications. The Femonomics Institute provides counseling, support groups, products and programs that help women to create long term emotional and financial security. (828) 658-1919.