hello/goodbye: coming together
and breaking apart a business partnership: part two
by debra roberts and linda mclean

Last month Cheri Britton and Elizabeth Trezise Barbour wrote of the recent "breaking apart" of their business partnership. Sandi and I had been through their Solopreneur Woman coaching program and watched as we all grew in our passion for and commitment to our businesses. One woman in the program decided she no longer wanted to do her business; the program helped her identify what feeds her soul most, and she had the courage to change course. Not too long after that, Elizabeth changed her course: as an adoptee recently reunited with her birth family, she had discovered an even greater passion, to work with others on the same journey.

When I asked Cheri and Elizabeth if they would be willing to write of the coming apart, they eagerly told me they were about to approach us to write just such an article. At the same time I thought of Debra Roberts and Linda McLean of Little Pearls, a local non-profit (I am on their board). They too had a wonderful partnership and then Debra became ill. She retired from everything, including Little Pearls, and then found herself on another path: Fifth World Women and Prasad for Women presented themselves. (See Debra's Fifth World Women Walking Upright in December 2005 and fifthworldwomen.com).

I asked if they would be willing to follow this theme a bit and tell their story. We all thought it would be interesting to have them write separately, without seeing each other's work. Debra chose to answer my questions explicitly; Linda chose to be guided by them. ~ Ed. (Julie Parker)

DEBRA ROBERTS
How did you and Linda first connect? When I moved to Asheville in 1997, I started a documentary film company called Heron Productions as a result of a month of dreams. Sometime after that, I had another strong nighttime dream that gave me very specific guidance on creating 30-second television spots (gave me a theme, style, content and technical pointers – it was quite a night!) This resulted in founding Little Pearls, a non-profit that creates “tiny films that open hearts and minds”. I was happily solo in both of my businesses but one year, I found myself in partnership with a wonderful person in each entity. Linda McLean was one of them.

Linda and I were introduced by a mutual acquaintance. I recall meeting her for the first time in my living room. As she introduced herself and her interest in Little Pearls, my heart burst wide open. I realized in that first meeting that someone with a similar vision had come into my life, someone who was probably going to stay. We walked into the partnership slowly but surely. I think it took us about a year to really get used to the partnership and how that worked. We are two quite different personalities but where the making of Pearls were concerned, we are almost the same soul.

Together, we continued to build Little Pearls, getting a Board, making more Pearls, getting our non-profit status, doing fundraisers, etc. Then in November of 2004, I had a health crisis. I recall that on a Friday, I realized I just had to stop everything I was doing, and by Monday, I had dissolved both partnerships, both of which I sincerely believed I would be in working relationship with the rest of my life. My life just turned a corner.

As far as Little Pearls was concerned, I told myself I would be returning to it after a six month sabbatical. I resigned as Co-Executive Director and stepped back.
Because I was immersed in a healing crisis, Linda and I didn’t have the breath that Cheri and Elizabeth did to really talk it out and talk it through first. I know it was a bolt from the blue for Linda. But it also was for me.

But curiously, in retrospect, I felt like the “end” to our partnership was as full of grace and natural as our beginning. I was going to India the following January so I completed everything that I possibly could to be sure Linda wasn’t left in the lurch.

By the time I came back, and across the rest of last year, she proved to be the exact right person to be THE Executive Director of Little Pearls, as she built the Board and continued to make some really wonderful Pearls on her own. I am now loosely classed as a consultant (a sort of free range chicken of a consultant) and my intention has been to mostly be available to her personally as she has made her way across this year of transition—which she has done magnificently.

What I have come to know is that we were in “right relationship” jumping into our partnership and are also in the right place with our current arrangement. Neither arrangement was planned on either of our parts and I am amazed how we have navigated the waters, most of the time, with grace and style. It has been a relationship full of mystery and potency.

Did you have a formal partnership? Not initially, but as soon as we entered the realm of getting our official non-profit status, that prompted a more formal arrangement on paper that had already been happening in our day to day relationship.

Did you plan in advance what would happen if one of you went her own way? No, we never planned coming together or going our separate ways. But we are both seasoned in following our hearts and dreams (both of which inform Little Pearls deeply).

Did Linda feel abandoned in any way for any amount of time? Linda will have to answer this. Probably, for a while. But both she and I were feeling concern for my illness during the time of our shift, which kind of dominated things for a while. And I stayed in touch with her every step of the way. And, truth be told, she really was ready to be a solo Executive Director. I haven’t felt any difficulty at all in “untangling things” – they didn’t feel really tangled. I kept showing up, and still do, for things that I was working on and needed to turn over to her or had some special know-how about.

Is there any advice you’d have to women entering into a similar partnership?Yes. I want to address something subtle that I noticed “after the fact” about our relationship that other women might find useful. When I look back on anything that might count as the humps and bumps in our relationship, I feel they were mostly natural. In the coming together, we had to get used to each other – we were different people at a personality level but at the core of our relationship, where it was really important, we held the same vision and that was a constant blessing. That always felt more important to me than anything else. Later, when we got in our stride together as Co-Executive Directors, I felt like we grew together and were pretty responsible about addressing any tensions between us. Towards the end of that era, for me, there was from time to time a small, very small, tendril of resistance arising in me. I couldn’t put a finger on what it was and it never had a loud voice. But it was around, occasionally. After I resigned as Co-ED, I realized that this little tendril was me overstaying my role as Co-ED – that the teeny resistance I was feeling was from my own thinking that I saw myself doing that job with her for the rest of my life – especially since I had “started the organization”. But truthfully, Little Pearls had grown larger than both of us, which was always the point, and with that growth, her being the solo ED was the next right relationship for us and for the organization. I see that now. We came into this thing I call “right relationship” which is something, these days, I try to listen for and feel into – and make fewer assumptions about.

I am SO proud of the direction Linda is taking Little Pearls, of the pieces she has made across this year (especially the post-Katrina pieces) and of what she has planned for this year. From start to finish, this relationship has been ever the mysterious blessing. My life goes on as fond founder and supporter of Little Pearls and has moved on to talks for women, live and on CD, which I have called Prasad for Women.

LINDA MCLEAN
Little Pearls is a one-of-a-kind non-profit that creates and distributes “tiny films” that inspire, educate and challenge viewers. Its mission is full of hope, love, empowerment, and positive change.

Little Pearls grew out of nighttime dreams Debra and I each had months before we met serendipitously. She had already made a documentary film before making two 30-second spots and founding Little Pearls, based on her dream. When we finally made a direct connection (and the details are amazing!), we each could feel the depth of the other’s heart. We happened to be going to the same weekend workshop in Charlotte and chose to go together. Debra invited me to join her in her newly-formed organization on the drive back to Weaverville.

Eventually, we agreed informally to be Co-Executive Directors, though Debra was the one with more documentary experience. We talked about how we would make choices if we disagreed, and how we would commit to staying open to each other while listening carefully to our own inner guidance. We shared a knowing and anticipation that these little these little films could be a life-changing, world-changing form of “media that matters.”

We found over the course of our time together that we are very different in terms of background, strengths and weaknesses, work and communication styles, priorities and approaches to tasks. Yet we shared a bond that grew with the creation of each new Pearl and with the seeds of more to come. All Little Pearls sprang directly from Debra’s heart and/or from mine. When we got into the editing suite with a professional to actually create a new Pearl, separately or together, we were like synchronized tuning forks. We each and both always knew when we had a Pearl.

There were times in our four years together when we were in very frequent contact as we each worked from our home offices six miles apart, and times when we rarely even had a chance to talk, due to outside work and responsibilities we each had. Little Pearls grew in spurts, with some periods of intense activity and others of near-dormancy. One of us was often much more active than the other, and the torch got passed back and forth between us as needed.

In some ways it is a challenge to find words for the changes that have happened and those that are still underway since Debra took her eight-month sabbatical and then chose not to return actively to Little Pearls.

We had been involved in an externally-focused project the last half of 2004 that drained each of us in different ways, and when Debra became acutely ill afterward, my biggest concern was for her health. I took up the slack as she focused on recovery.

When she terminated her other working relationships and then told me she needed to take a sabbatical from Little Pearls, I was not surprised—just sad at losing my partner. At the same time, due to strengths I had uncovered in the difficult months before this time, we both knew I was able to pick up the torch and keep Little Pearls going by myself. There were no real money issues, as we had been essentially volunteer “staff” anyway. Debra’s exit from Little Pearls was gentle, as she tidied up loose ends and transferred her specialty tasks and projects to me. Then she went to India for nearly a month, and I was completely on my own.

For several months I had the symbolic experience of holding a door open for Debra—not having an expectation of the outcome, yet keeping that option open for her if she wanted to return. During all this time, our small yet supportive Board (including Julie Parker!) offered help and input as needed, though I often felt quite alone.

Fulfilling the mission of Little Pearls requires more than one person. Early in my solo time I sometimes felt abandoned by Debra as I plugged away on both the vision and the many details —and everything in between—of building the strong organizational infrastructure that is needed now. That work is not as fun or creative as the creation of the Pearls themselves, though it’s critical to their potential impact in the larger world. Tired but stronger with every successfully-completed project, I was ready to stop holding the door open for Debra by late spring, and it was okay when she made her official decision not to return.

However, the door is not locked, as both Debra and I are tuned into the flow of our lives as part of the bigger Plan, and I know things can and will change when it’s time. Little Pearls is its own entity now —apart from either Debra or me —but it is still a young entity that needs a lot of support to grow in the healthiest ways. I trust that the right help will come at the right time and also that I will know when it’s time for me to move on.

Debra continues to care deeply about what is happening with Little Pearls and contributes when she can. We continue to be friends, though I miss having more regular contact with her and collaborating on things that prompt us both to cry and laugh. She is off into new creative projects, and I have just completed my first two truly solo Pearls called “After the Storm.” With input and feedback that I asked for from friends, I have followed my own dreams and intuitions with these Pearls, which are more in line with my activist nature than previous Pearls have been. These two Pearls add a new direction to the many Pearls-in-waiting that are still to be dreamed and created. [littlepearls.org]