Funny, Isn't It?
by Jeanne Charters

February is the month for loving. For one thing, it’s mighty cold which makes cuddling mandatory. Also, it holds St. Valentine’s Day, that day when you buy loving cards for your mate, your children, your friends (if they are really, really close) and your pets. What? You don’t buy a Valentine’s Day card for your dog? One of us is wrong…or one of us is nuts. I do not choose to dwell on that deep question right now because I fear I may discover a slight aberration in my feelings about Poncho. If I’m wacky, I just don’t want to know.

What is this thing called love, anyway? Rather than bursting into song, I decided to check in with some dear, departed folks, known & unknown, to get their takes on it.

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. H. L. Mencken

Oh, really? Well, Mr. Mencken, too bad you’re not alive to read WNC Woman. You’d soon be convinced that no writer in this magazine is much like her page mate, except that both like to write. Some of us are tall…some are petite…some are zaftig…some are slender…some are liberal…some are conservative. No, scratch that conservative stuff. I don’t think that any woman writing here can truly be described as conservative. However, it is apparent that some of us enjoy widely different lifestyles from our WNC sisters. We are married, gay, new-age, traditional, vain, “don’t give a damn how we look”. We are addicted to “Desperate Housewives” (that’s me) or eschew all TV viewing as mindless noise. Our differences are enormous, but somehow, when we come together at our gatherings, there is love (and really good food).

Whenever you are confronted with an opponent, conquer him with love. Mahatma Gandhi

Yep, that works. I can guarantee you that next time you are confronted by an red-faced person who claims that you backed your car into theirs right after they rear ended your car, things will go better if you touch their shoulder and say, “Don’t be upset. It’s going to be OK.” Actually, I got that from my friend, counselor Pripo Teplitsky. This actually happened to Pripo; and, after an initial outrage, he did some deep breathing and did exactly that. The trouble is Pripo is a lot nicer than I am. I would probably be more inclined to screech at the other driver that they are clearly out of their minds. However, I’m working on this. Ommmmmmmmm.

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. Albert Einstein

Hoo boy, ain’t that the truth? Remember those bad old days when the criteria for falling madly in love with someone was that they were difficult, emotionally unavailable, troubled, mean, misunderstood (by your friends, parents and clergy), didn’t call when expected to, picked fights when things were good, criticized your looks, criticized your shape, criticized your brainpower and criticized your friends? Is there any female out there who never went through that phase? Come on now, tell the truth. If you did survive the “bad boy” stage of your life, you know that what’s important is to never repeat it again. Sometimes, love is just getting smarter.

Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretence (sic) of keeping it alive. Havelock Ellis

Now, my mother, Dorothy Hackett, would never have bought that one. She believed all her life that “if you’re not jealous of him, you’re not in love with him”. That posed many problems for me because, for a long time, I believed her. So, of course, I gravitated toward men who gave me every reason to be jealous. When I met Matt, my straight-shooter husband, I learned about not having to be jealous because I could trust him. What a concept…a man who didn’t date others while married! I’ve adjusted. Sorry, Mom. I like Havelock better on this one.

The torch of love is lit in the kitchen. French Proverb

Well, sure…have you ever eaten good French food?
Life without love is like a tree without blossom and fruit. Kahlil Gibran
I have a good friend back in NY who has never married, never had children, and has no partner in her life. Her great loves are and were her parents, whom she continues to care for, in their respective nursing homes. Is that enough, Kahlil? I think you would agree that, for some, it suffices. After all,

Love is a fruit in season at all times, and within reach of every hand. Mother Teresa

Now, who out there wants to argue with Mother Teresa?

To the world, you might be one person; but to one person, you might be the world. Unknown

I’m pretty sure that “unknown” is my dog, Poncho. Funny, isn’t it, that all my life, I wished to be totally adored by a male. Now, I am. I have never entered a room without eliciting mind-bending excitement from Poncho. It never wears out. He is consistently excited at the marvel of my beauty, my smell, my unparalleled ability with the can opener while preparing his Iams. I finally got my wish. I am Poncho’s world. Being adored is every bit as wonderful as I thought it would be. Some things do not disappoint.

Well, dear reader, I have lots more “love” quotes that I’d like to share; but time and space are factors here. Let me finish by wishing you love in your life. If you don’t think you have enough now, maybe you’ll visit a singles’ group, a dating website (if you’re unmarried), or your local Humane Society. After the visit to the Humane Society, just take your new love to the local doggie park. Bet you’ll get lucky. There’s no chick or stud magnet on the planet with an attraction like that of a cute doggie!

 

Jeanne Charters is a former V.P. of Marketing for Viacom Television. She started her own award-winning broadcast advertising agency in 1990. Jeanne lives in Fairview with her husband, Matt Restivo. [ charmkt@juno.com; 828-628-0023 ]